Day 2 of 30 - Testimonies, Prayers, & Poetry
Day 2 of 30
Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
Habakkuk 3:17-18
I remember the first time I read this scripture. Well, I remember the circumstances. I was attending what was then known as Bellville Area College, BAC, and left class feeling a little off. There was a “catch” in my side that concerned me because of a previous experience, so after leaving my class I went to the emergency room.
Most people would not consider a “catch” in your side emergency room worthy, but if it was what I thought it was, I was in the right place. I explained to the nurse the pain or rather discomfort I was feeling and gave her a bit of my medical history. A pregnancy test was immediately ordered. Positive.
Next step, a vaginal ultrasound. Yes, they do those in emergencies. The doctor came in after looking at the pictures and assured me I’d done the right thing by coming in right away. I did indeed have another ectopic pregnancy and would be prepped for surgery immediately. I don’t remember if I called my husband then or not. He was still active duty in the Air Force and his job was not one where he could just say, “I need to go handle something personal.” Hospitals weren’t his thing anyway and he would probably make me more nervous.
What I do remember is telling the nurse I would appreciate a Bible when asked if there was anything I needed. She soon returned and handed me a Gideon’s King James Bible. I don’t remember praying with maybe the exception of, “Lord?” You know those prayers where you don’t have words but you want Him to know you acknowledge Him and you’re doing your best to trust Him.
I opened the Bible up randomly (not a common practice of mine, but this was not a common day) and it opened to Habakkuk 3. I was a believer at the time, in case the request for a Bible didn’t make that clear. I was also a “student” of the Word. But somehow, this minor prophet had not previously caught my eye. But God knew what I needed. I believe He answered my “prayer.”
Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
After reading those verses and making a decision to rejoice in the Lord despite the dire situation, His peace enveloped me. I smiled. I cried. I praised. I said no. “What?” my doctor asked. “What do you mean you won’t sign the consent for surgery? Do you realize what’s going on? Do you know the risks? This could kill you.” I explained to this irate physician before me that I did indeed know the risks, however, I didn’t have peace concerning the surgery. I had peace, but not for surgery. I felt God was telling me to wait.
We went back and forth for some time. He pleaded; he threatened; he begged. But my confidence in what I was feeling in my spirit never wavered. I spent the night in the emergency room after convincing the doctor I was neither insane nor suicidal. I told him, “Maybe tomorrow God will give me peace regarding emergency surgery. But until He said move, I was standing my ground.”
Very early the next morning, the doctor came back to me and asked me, “How did you know?” I knew I hadn’t gotten much sleep and I had not been sedated but I was very confused. How did I know what. He went on to explain to me that after taking a closer look at the ultrasound pictures, he saw that he had made a mistake. Yes, I was pregnant, but my baby was in utero. I was not carrying an ectopic pregnancy!
Because the pregnancy was in a very early stage, not even 8 weeks, he had overlooked the actual fetus because he was looking for problems. And he found one. There was a large cyst growing on my remaining fallopian tube and was likely the cause of my discomfort. However, it was not the pregnancy, nor was it a threat to the pregnancy. But if he had performed the surgery as he desired, he would not have realized that until it was too late; until he had terminated the pregnancy that I very much wanted. How did I know?
I explained to that emergency room doctor that the Great Physician was my Father. That I had spoken to Him while waiting for my ultrasound results and He had assured me that everything would be okay. He had given me such peace and assurance, that I would not, could not be moved. He didn’t make a commitment to my God that morning, but a seed had been planted.
I did end up losing that baby a few weeks later. It was my third miscarriage and, I won’t lie, it shook my faith. But while one life was lost, I believe another was saved. I’ve had the opportunity to share my faith with many doctors during my quest to have a child. Ten pregnancies and only two live births equal a lot of witnessing and seeds sown. Perhaps in glory, I’ll get to see just how many produced a harvest.
Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
Habakkuk 3:17-18
I remember the first time I read this scripture. Well, I remember the circumstances. I was attending what was then known as Bellville Area College, BAC, and left class feeling a little off. There was a “catch” in my side that concerned me because of a previous experience, so after leaving my class I went to the emergency room.
Most people would not consider a “catch” in your side emergency room worthy, but if it was what I thought it was, I was in the right place. I explained to the nurse the pain or rather discomfort I was feeling and gave her a bit of my medical history. A pregnancy test was immediately ordered. Positive.
Next step, a vaginal ultrasound. Yes, they do those in emergencies. The doctor came in after looking at the pictures and assured me I’d done the right thing by coming in right away. I did indeed have another ectopic pregnancy and would be prepped for surgery immediately. I don’t remember if I called my husband then or not. He was still active duty in the Air Force and his job was not one where he could just say, “I need to go handle something personal.” Hospitals weren’t his thing anyway and he would probably make me more nervous.
What I do remember is telling the nurse I would appreciate a Bible when asked if there was anything I needed. She soon returned and handed me a Gideon’s King James Bible. I don’t remember praying with maybe the exception of, “Lord?” You know those prayers where you don’t have words but you want Him to know you acknowledge Him and you’re doing your best to trust Him.
I opened the Bible up randomly (not a common practice of mine, but this was not a common day) and it opened to Habakkuk 3. I was a believer at the time, in case the request for a Bible didn’t make that clear. I was also a “student” of the Word. But somehow, this minor prophet had not previously caught my eye. But God knew what I needed. I believe He answered my “prayer.”
Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
After reading those verses and making a decision to rejoice in the Lord despite the dire situation, His peace enveloped me. I smiled. I cried. I praised. I said no. “What?” my doctor asked. “What do you mean you won’t sign the consent for surgery? Do you realize what’s going on? Do you know the risks? This could kill you.” I explained to this irate physician before me that I did indeed know the risks, however, I didn’t have peace concerning the surgery. I had peace, but not for surgery. I felt God was telling me to wait.
We went back and forth for some time. He pleaded; he threatened; he begged. But my confidence in what I was feeling in my spirit never wavered. I spent the night in the emergency room after convincing the doctor I was neither insane nor suicidal. I told him, “Maybe tomorrow God will give me peace regarding emergency surgery. But until He said move, I was standing my ground.”
Very early the next morning, the doctor came back to me and asked me, “How did you know?” I knew I hadn’t gotten much sleep and I had not been sedated but I was very confused. How did I know what. He went on to explain to me that after taking a closer look at the ultrasound pictures, he saw that he had made a mistake. Yes, I was pregnant, but my baby was in utero. I was not carrying an ectopic pregnancy!
Because the pregnancy was in a very early stage, not even 8 weeks, he had overlooked the actual fetus because he was looking for problems. And he found one. There was a large cyst growing on my remaining fallopian tube and was likely the cause of my discomfort. However, it was not the pregnancy, nor was it a threat to the pregnancy. But if he had performed the surgery as he desired, he would not have realized that until it was too late; until he had terminated the pregnancy that I very much wanted. How did I know?
I explained to that emergency room doctor that the Great Physician was my Father. That I had spoken to Him while waiting for my ultrasound results and He had assured me that everything would be okay. He had given me such peace and assurance, that I would not, could not be moved. He didn’t make a commitment to my God that morning, but a seed had been planted.
I did end up losing that baby a few weeks later. It was my third miscarriage and, I won’t lie, it shook my faith. But while one life was lost, I believe another was saved. I’ve had the opportunity to share my faith with many doctors during my quest to have a child. Ten pregnancies and only two live births equal a lot of witnessing and seeds sown. Perhaps in glory, I’ll get to see just how many produced a harvest.
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