Thursday, January 8, 2015

Walking Into My New Normal

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a terrible procrastinator.  I don’t know why I do it but I put everything off until the last possible moment. Sometimes that works – like when I’m writing because I don’t have time to second guess myself. Other times it’s awful – like when I’ve invited 30 people to my house for brunch and I wait until the night before to start cleaning SO I can cook. Yeah, that didn’t go quite as I’d planned. But God knows I’m trying. I keep confessing that I’m a reformed procrastinator. But…

Well now I’m tired of procrastinating. It’s hurting me; it’s hurting my family; it’s hurting those God has called me to minister to. There are things I’m supposed to do, to be, to have. But there are prerequisites for all of it. So here I am – working on my prerequisites. Starting with something one of the ladies at my church told me, I’m going to write my modified life plan.

Starting backwards or at the end, what I want ultimately from life is to get to the end and hear my Father say to me, “Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 25:21 NIV) But in order to hear Him say that I must first do what He’s told me to do. So what has He told me to do, that’s step two in this “from the end to the beginning” life plan. He’s told me to seek His face. That’s all. I should be all excited and jumping up and down right? So why aren’t I? It's because I lack a made up mind. But that’s another post – I think.

In order to please the Father one has to first KNOW the Father. And I’m not talking head knowledge here. I need to know who He is, what makes Him tick, what ticks Him off, and what makes Him smile. And I can know all of this because He gave me a guide book. All I have to do is open it up and LISTEN as He speaks to me. Well, that’s not all I have to do. I have to do what He says after He’s spoken to me. And that’s where I am today on this from the end life plan.

I am easily distracted and an emotional operator so I’m going with lists to keep me focused and on point. I must do what I KNOW to do until what I know to do is what I feel like doing. No more procrastinating, no more working according to the old pattern and operating system of yesterday. I’m walking into my destiny, into my new normal. Glad to have you sharing the journey.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Just Journaling

2 January 2015

Is it just me or do you become easily distracted when that still small voice begins to speak to you? I can go all day totally focused and on point until I feel that little nudge and then bam! everything needs my attention and needs it now! I can go all day (well a good part of the day) and not even think of food. But then the Holy Spirit will begin to whisper my name and suddenly I’m ravenous. Or I will remember that I was supposed to pay a bill or make a phone call -anything to keep me from answering that voice.

Oh and now at the beginning of the year it’s at its worse. Of course we’ve all committed to doing better and being better – to being more available to God. Not just to do stuff for Him, but to just spend time with Him (I hope we have committed to that.) But of course you’re also committed to exercising more and getting more done on your never-shrinking to-do list and maybe even writing more. And no matter how difficult it’s been to get the other things done, they suddenly seem easier when it’s time to spend a moment in the presence of God.

Oh, Father God, for grace to do better – not necessarily bigger, but better.

Precious, Father, grant me ears that ever hear you; eyes that continually see you; and a heart that is unceasingly available to answer your call – no matter what time of day it is or what else may be going on, may I drop it all to answer your still small voice. Sweet Jesus, may it be reminiscent of the early days of motherhood where at the slightest sound from my sweet baby, I hurried to her side to see what it was she desired of me. And may I be even more eager to grant you whatever you ask. If you tell me to write a friend may I do it immediately and with all the love and compassion you would show. If you tell me to go and do, may I like the twelve, drop everything and immediately follow you. If you tell me to simply sit and abide in your presence, may I count it an honour and dwell with you for as long as you will have me. May no task seem too small and no request too big. May I hear and like the sweet virgin Mary and respond, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord.” I exist, Father only to please you. May I never allow the cares of this world to change my purpose.