Stuck on the Diving Board

For as long as I can remember I’ve claimed Matthew 6:33 as my life verse. In the King James Version, it reads, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Talk about an easy task. But the talk was the only easy part about it.

Someone once told me there are three stages of salvation. Stage one is a desire for fire insurance. This is the stage where you realize you are a sinner and bound for hell, but God. This realization leads you to ask Jesus to come into your life and save you from your sins. You need a savior from the fires of hell. This is stage one. (Bear with me and we’ll return to Matthew 6:33.)

Stage two of salvation is the desire for blessings stage. Not everyone makes it to this stage because to get here, you have to learn a little more of the God you’ve invited into your life. It is obtained after you read your Bible or go to church and hear verses like Matthew 6:33, Psalm 37:4, Ephesians 3:20, Matthew 7:7, and Deuteronomy 28:2-13. These are a few of the promises of God. (Oh, and I dare not leave out John 10:10!) But you learn these verses and began to name and claim all that God has for you. You go to church and declare, “I’m looking for my blessing.” You worship and praise and give because there’s a blessing with your name on it and you want all that God has for you.

I realize that the way I explained stage two of salvation sounds a little harsh. I cannot, or rather, will not apologize for that. While I realize there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking for a blessing, I pray it’s not the end of your journey with Christ. Every scripture I shared in the blessing stage is for every blood washed believer. I just caution that you read the qualifications and be sure you’re ready to meet the requirements before “naming and claiming.” God is not a man that He should lie, (Numbers 23:19a) and all the promises of God are yes in Christ (2 Corinthians 1:20a). This means His promises will stand; but so will His requirements.

That brings us to stage three, a desire for God. Of all the people in the world who claim salvation through Jesus, how many get to stage three? In this stage, you know that you know that you know you will see Jesus when you depart from this life. Your fire insurance is in full effect.  In this stage, you are grateful for every blessing, but you aren’t seeking blessings. You’re seeking the face of God, having graduated from seeking only the hand of God. You realize that if you seek after God – a relationship that is close and personal and intimate – all other things really will be added unto you. (We’ve worked our way back to Matthew 6:33.)

When God gave me Matthew 6:33 as a life verse, I got excited because I saw the promise of the verse but ignored the requirements. Shortly afterward, I discovered Matthew 7. For me, however, it wasn’t verse seven that excited me. I clung to verses 9-11. My earthly father gave me pretty much everything I asked for and he was a mess – lol! So if a “messed up” daddy gave me all I asked for, how much more would my perfect heavenly Father give me? Those two scriptures alone had me dancing and praising all through stage two. But God…

God will take you as you are, but He won’t leave you that way. For a long time, it seemed that all I had to do was think a prayer and boom! God did it. But that season was just a time of “courting” if you will. God, with His good self, wooed me and wowed me. Then He pulled me closer and took me deeper. He showed me so much of Himself and then He showed me myself and then dared to even show me what I could be if I would draw even closer to Him. I confess I got scared. It was one of those fears where you’re excited but at the same time you are absolutely terrified.

I became that child that was learning to dive into the deep end of the pool. I could swim and had been in the deep end before, but I always had floaties or held on to the side of the pool or my daddy. Now Daddy is there but He’s telling me to jump. I don’t have on floaties and I can’t stand up because the water is too deep. I’ll be too far from the edge to hold on. All I have is Daddy standing there saying, “Jump. You’ll be fine. I’m right here. I’ll never leave you nor forsake you.” You know He means it. You have every confidence in Him, in theory. And the water is so inviting. Others, not many but some, are already in the deep end and you want to join them. But you can’t. You’re frozen to that diving board.

Day after day, you run back to the pool and climb up high and Daddy stands below with arms open, calling to you, “Jump.” Your fear is irrational. You’ve spent enough time with the Father to know He won’t call you to it if He were not fully prepared to carry you through it. He’s not going to let you sink and there’s certainly no chance of your drowning because the Father is there. Your lifeguard walks on water for goodness sake! Why are you so fearful? Where is your faith?

And there we have it. Stage three requires faith. That little mustard seed got you here. But to stay here and flourish, that seed’s got to be planted, watered and cared for so that it can grow.  That seed of faith has to be nourished. You have to earnestly seek God. You have to take up your cross – daily – and follow Him. You have to die to self and live out Galatians 2:20. When I stepped to the door of the third stage of salvation and peeped in, I thought I was ready. But I wasn’t. I was terrified to give up myself, to die in order to live. I was afraid that it wouldn’t work out like the book said. In my head I know all of the verses that prove to die to self is the only way to live. In my head. I just couldn’t get it down to my feet long enough to actually follow through. I kept (keep) climbing up on that diving board. I scared to death to jump. It doesn’t make sense and I wish it weren’t so, but it’s my reality.

So here I sit. It is 2:29 a.m. on Monday, March 11, 2019. God is calling me to go deeper. He’s shown me that it’s not just about me. As I stand here, fearful to jump, there’s a line forming behind me. They can’t jump until I get out of the way. Some are even watching me trying to determine if they will take the leap. They have decided that if I can’t do it, there’s no way they can. I’ve known the Father longer than they have so I must know something they don’t. My fear is hindering them too. But I can’t jump just for them. It’s got to be about me and the Father. Do I trust Him? Do I believe? Father, I'm stuck on the diving board; help my unbelief.