Pressing On

            Earlier this week I shared that I was bone tired. And I was. I still am. But I feel it is important to also share that though I’m tired, I’m not dead and I have not quit. I allowed myself to focus on myself – my feelings, my fears, my desires, me. But as a child of God, that is not to be my focus. I’m to keep my eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. (Hebrews 12:2) When I do this, instead of declaring I’m tired I’ll declare, “I am troubled on every side, yet not distressed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

            God has a plan for my life, just as He has a plan for every individual’s life.  But He doesn’t always tell us the plan. Instead, He tells us to trust in Him with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding; in all our ways acknowledge Him and He will make our paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6) The Word goes on to tell us in verse seven, (KJV) “Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.” As long as I feel like I have to make something happen or I’m in control, I’m actually just in the way. As one dear friend has told me, if I am determined to do things on my own and run my own life, God will allow it. He’s a gentleman and will not force Himself on me. And He doesn’t do the “co-captain” thing. He’s either Lord of all or not lord at all.

            My pastor once taught us a simple lesson that has stayed with me over the years. We are not our own but were bought at a price. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) When I go out and buy something, I own it. And if I own it, I’m responsible for its care and upkeep. Pastor’s example was a car. If I go out and buy a car, it is my responsibility to keep the car clean, and maintained, and filled with gas. If the engine blows in my car, it’s most likely my fault because I didn’t keep the oil changed and the engine properly maintained. But with timely oil changes and regular maintenance, I can drive the car for years. (I have proven this with a 1993 Toyota that has over 200,000 miles and still runs great.) If I stall on the side of the road because there’s no gas, that’s not the cars fault. It wasn’t the car that was supposed to pull up to the gas station and fill up. That’s the responsibility of the owner.

            God owns me. He bought me with a price – the blood of His only begotten Son. He would not pay such a precious price for me and then cast me aside. That’s foolishness. And God is many things but foolish is not one of them. It is His responsibility to care for me and to keep me maintained and filled with His grace and power. I recognize I have a greater role in this care than my Toyota has in its maintenance, but not by much. When I need some maintenance (time in prayer and the study of His Word) He calls to me. His Spirit draws me. When my fuel tank is running low, He gently lets me now that I need to rest and refresh myself in Him. That’s when it becomes my responsibility - when He calls to me. I must then choose to obey Him. He will not force me to answer His call. But He will allow me to blow my engine. Oh, but praise be to God! Even then, He’ll tow me in and lovingly restore me.

            Yes, I’m tired but I’m in it to win it. I allowed myself to run too long without proper maintenance. I hit that 100,000 miles point but didn’t go in for the special tune-up that’s required for “high mileage” vehicles.  I thank God, it’s not too late. There are still many miles in me, much work to do, and a lot of roads to cover. Please pray that I stay close to my Shepherd and obey Him as He makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters; that I’ll cooperate as He restores my soul and follow as He leads me in paths of righteousness. Then I can be certain that goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.