I Have a Confession

I Have a Confession                                                        September 19, 2014

I have a confession to make – I have judged others. More specifically, I have judged the Israelites who were delivered out of bondage in Egypt only to “create” a god to go before them a few days later. I mean, really?  I always felt that if God parted a sea and allowed me to not only cross but to cross on dry land and then destroy my enemies before my very eyes, I’d serve Him wholeheartedly forever. I’ve also said that if I saw the presence of God directing me in a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, I’d follow Him anywhere – even when I couldn’t see Him.

But those Israelites didn’t do that. Before the sun was fully set on one miracle it seemed they forgot all about God and turned back to doing things their own way. I just don’t get it. Correction – I didn’t get it. But I believe I do now. And so, my confession…

Yesterday I got up early in the morning and went straight into the presence of God. He calls me early to be with Him and though I’m not a morning person, that seems to be His meeting time of preference – with me anyway. In fact, the verse He gave me for my “ministry” says, “The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.” (Isaiah 50:4 KJV) He really does waken me morning by morning. But, and that’s a BIG BUT, I don’t always rise when He wakens. And so we go back to my confession.

Yesterday I did well. I got up when He awakened me and had a joyous time with Him. I believe it was because I started my day with Him that everything went as well as it did. One notable part was as I was reading and doing my “thing” I felt an urge to pray for my children and plead the blood of God to protect them and their schools. The feeling was strong so of course I prayed and confessed Psalm 91 over them until the Spirit gave me peace. An hour later, my seventeen year old sent a text asking that I come and get her from school because police were everywhere and she thought there was a shooting scare.

My flesh wanted to panic but God said, “Don’t worry. I already took care of this – remember.” So instead of panicking I sent text messages to prayer partners and then gave God a praise. I even posted how awesome God was on Facebook and how before there was a situation, He allowed me to be a part of the solution! He is sooooo GOOD!

That was yesterday. Today was different. Early this morning God woke me up and I decided I would lie in bed a little longer and meet with Him later. (Don’t judge me J) But a little later became much later and then it was time to get the girls off to school and mow the lawn and then transfer daughter number one from one school to the other school and deliver DVD’s for my church’s media ministry and visit one of the elderly mothers from our church association and then I had to go to the library and take my husband to lunch and... (Whew!) Long story made short, later never came. I mean I prayed a quick prayer but there was no quality time with the Father. I had chosen to go my own way.

So now I can say I understand the Israelites a little bit better. They didn’t necessarily mean to turn away from God so quickly. They probably had no intention of turning their backs on God at all. But as one minister friend told me, you don’t have to choose to leave God’s presence, simply stop ACTIVELY seeking it and you’ll lose it anyway. 

Yesterday’s police presence at my daughter’s school was a proactive-preventive measure.  Though my child says she did see the police actively pursue a suspect, there was not a shooting incident. Before things got out of hand, God called me to pray and dispatch His angels of protection. Some of them arrived in blue uniforms. Yesterday I saw God move mightily on my behalf. Today I stayed in bed and built a golden calf out of my body’s desire for a little more rest.

Yes, I have judged the Israelites of the Bible. Today I confess that I understand their downfall much better. It was wrong, but I understand and I shall judge no more.